Monday, February 13, 2012

Sunday, Sunday

So, we had a Princess Party yesterday. I would never have thought to have one, but somebody gave us this big kit for a PP, which included crowns, wands, thank you notes and invitations. Since I was pretty sure my husband wasn't going to think wearing a crown around the highlight of his year, we invited some friends over and broke it open. (I should say that my husband would wear a crown if he thought it was important. He is man enough to wear a crown, and also man enough to leave the house when a half dozen girl children and grown-up ladies come over for snacks and games).

Part of what made the afternoon really nice was a long discussion we had about whether Princess Parties are a good idea. I was on the fence, but my girl is VERY girly. And truth be told, I like being a girl, too. Somebody said that the emphasis on making girls less girly (I'm not phrasing that right) is in actuality an emphasis on the masculine. If we praise girls for being tomboys, we're praising them for being boyish.

Gender is complicated, though. I think where I've settled on it is to let the kids choose stuff they like, and when they're older they can choose again. I think the girl should also like trucks and the boy should also like pink, and guess what, sometimes they do. My girl is the strong, physical one while my boy is sweet and gentle. But often they go with the societal gender roles. Which is also okay.

In what felt like funny timing, yesterday I was changing the girl's diapers when the boy was with me. He is still in Pull-ups for overnight, though generally, gloriously, finally, potty-trained for the day. He looked at me quizzically and asked, "Why do my diapers have trucks and E's have castles?" You nailed it, baby, I thought to myself.
"I don't really know, honey," I replied. "Do you like castles too?"
"Yeah. You know what else I like? Granola." he replied.
He'll work it out. Also, when he said he wanted to stay for the party, that was fine, and he did and had a great time.

Here's the gorgeous, truck-playing, pink-loving boy:

And the girl before the party:
My hottie husband:
The girl chose her own shoes. I think the purple snow boots go quite well with the Easter egg colors of her dress. Thanks to Grandma for the dress. It was meant to be her Easter dress, but I think it's a shame those only get worn for a few hours. Plus, ahem, I had to squeeze it around her middle to get it buttoned. I don't know if it's going to make it to April. I'm really glad she wore it yesterday, just in case. She twirled around a lot. So cute.

Me! That belt thing is actually a scarf I tied in a big fat bow in the back. I figured princess dresses need a big fat bow, right?:

I love how Bromleigh and her daughter have the same expression right now. Her daughter is trying to talk over her.
I got a pack of pop beads at Target this week. How had I forgotten how fun they are? They came in a pack of 500, so I'm sure we'll be finding them for a long time to come.
He decorated a cookie for me with frosting our friend brought with her. She made her own frosting in 5 different colors. That's a keeper friend if I ever knew one.
Our girl and friend Jennifer. Aren't they pretty! And smart and kind, of course.
I think that Liz was the only one who wore her crown for the whole party, which is a shame, really. I hope she wore it later for her gig. She's a big time singer in Chicago, when she's not saving the world at her day job.

I would be glad to hear your perspective on how you handle gender issues, whether you are a parent or not. I think we all have a lot to learn and understand about it and ourselves.

1 comment:

  1. You know, it's funny--I just posted about how I don't fit into traditional gender roles, when my favorite thing in the world is a tea party. But so is my father's (I think because as an Anglophile Indian, he loves the class of it)... you lifted up something my mother pointed out to me when I was going through my militant feminist phase (from about 4 until about 20, now replaced with my gender identity internal conflict phase). She reminded me that feminists hadn't fought so that women could be like men. They fought so we could all sort out our own identities. I really appreciate you lifting that up. When I told my co-pastor that someone in the congregation mentioned they were relieved because now we had a mom (him) and not just a dad (me), he laughed and seemed totally at home with that. But it didn't make him less of a man. I'm grateful we have friends to support our kids as they navigate this terrain they don't even realize they're navigating. Thanks!


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